Ghid practic :)

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1.  Men have two emotions: Hungry and Horny. If you see him without an erection, make him a sandwich.
2.  He broke her heart.She broke his Xbox. Who cried harder??
3. Santa Claus has the right idea: visit people once a year.
4.  I've often wanted to drown my troubles, but I can't get my wife to go swimming.
5. If women didn't exist, all the money in the world would have no meaning.
6. When a man talks dirty to a woman, it's sexual harassment. When a woman talks dirty to a man, it's $3.95 a minute.
7. Women might be able to fake orgasms. But men can fake a whole relationship.
8.  It's true that we don't know what we've got until we lose it, but it's also true that we don't know what we've been missing until it arrives.
9. There is a place you can touch a woman that will drive her crazy. Her heart.
10. The average woman would rather have beauty than brains, because the average man can see better than he can think.
11. There are no stupid questions, just stupid people
12. Men are like bank accounts.Without a lot of money they don't generate a lot of interest.
13. You tried your best and you failed miserably. The lesson is 'never try'
14. The greatest pleasure in life is doing what people say you cannot do.
15.  Everyone is entitled to their own opinion. It's just that yours is stupid.
16.  The only reason people get lost in thought is because it's unfamiliar territory.
17. Everyone has photographic memory; some just don't have the film.
18. Most people are alive only because it is illegal to shoot them.
19. Mirors can't talk.Lucky for you they can't lough.